Friday, April 11, 2003

Army Chaplain in Iraq Reortedly Trades Water for Baptism

[Chaplain Josh] Llano, a Southern Baptist, recently told a Knight Ridder reporter that he makes soldiers sit through a 90-minute sermon and then take part in baptismal services in a 500-gallon container used only for baptisms. Rudd said many of the soldiers had gone up to 10 days without a shower.

In the story, which appeared in newspapers throughout the country, Llano said the soldiers willingly agreed to his terms. Said Llano in the story: "It's simple. They want water. I have it, as long as they agree to get baptized."

I thought Baptists didn't believe in water baptism. Anyway, I think this guy was just joking around. The separation of church and state drones need to lighten up and unwad their panties.
Nancy Pelosi: Democrat Party Minister of (Mis)Information

"I have absolutely no regret about my vote on this war," she told reporters at her weekly briefing yesterday, saying the same questions still remain: "The cost in human lives. The cost to our budget, probably $100 billion. We could have probably brought down that statue for a lot less."

These liberal Dems annoy me to no end. All they do is bitch and moan about policies they don't like without offering any kind of legitimate or reasonable alternatives. And instead of owning up to it when they are proven wrong, they bitch and moan about how they would have done things differently without actually saying what they would have done.
We Love Baghdad Bob

A little twisted, but some enterprising folks have set up a "fan" website dedicated to the now seldomly seen Iraqi Minister of Information.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Reason Number 2 Million and 1 for Despising Barry Lynn

U.S. Secretary of Education publicly expresses his admiration of Christian school values; leader of Americans United for the Saddamization of Church and State calls for his resignation.

Bad Hair Day Worth $6K

If this figure includes attorneys' fees and costs, I'd have to say this lawsuit was hardly worth the effort. But hey, it got some news coverage. Fifteen minutes of fame and all...

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

Elite Republican Democrat Guard Put Up Resistence to Owen Nomination

Unlike in Iraq, however, the U.S. may very well not win this one.
Reaction: Whatever...

A group of German university professors, angered by the U.S.-British war against Iraq, have launched a campaign to replace many popular English-language words used in Germany with French terms.
Confession in Singapore Cancelled

"This year in view of the SARS epidemic, I have obtained permission from Rome for our priests to grant a general absolution instead of individual confessions and absolution," [Archbishop Nicholas] Chia said in a letter to Singapore's 152,000 Catholics.

Catholics in multicultural Singapore are already banned from holding or shaking hands in church to prevent spread of SARS and holy communion wafers can only be issued on the palm of the hand. Usually, Catholics can choose to receive communion on the tongue.

Chia said churchgoers must be resolved to confess their sins in due time for the general absolution to work.
Contrasts In Reality

"I believe [Bush] thinks this [war against Iraq] is a war that can be won, but there is no such thing anymore...We can't beat anyone anymore" -- Actor George Clooney

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

Have You Heard the One About the Three Nuns...

...who were arrested and convicted of sabotage and malicious destruction of property?
SCOTUS Reins In "Excessive" Punitive Damage Awards

Where again in the Constitution does it say outrageous civil damages shall not be awarded because Brand X failed to warn you of the dangers of their product?

Juries in civil cases are intended to compensate victims for their actual losses, not to mete out punishment, said Justice Anthony M. Kennedy for the court.

"Great care must be taken to avoid the use of the civil process to assess" society's punishment, he said. "Punitive damages are not a substitute for the criminal process."
Lawyers Unionize

"Low" pay ($50K/year to sit around all day and give out legal advice on the phone) and "poor" working conditions (no law library and open cubicles for offices) cause one group of lawyers to form a Teamsters unit. Lord, have mercy.

Monday, April 07, 2003

Ban on Cross Burning Upheld by SCOTUS

An interesting 5-4 decision that transcends the liberal-conservative ideological divide on the Court. In his dissent to upholding the ban, Justice Clarence Thomas, made clear his reasons have nothing to do with protecting free speech rights of the Klan.

Thomas said the court didn't even have to consider the First Amendment implications because cross burning is clearly intimidation.

"Just as one cannot burn down someone's house to make a political point and then seek refuge in the First Amendment, those who hate cannot terrorize and intimidate to make their point," he wrote.

"In our culture, cross burning has almost invariably meant lawlessness and understandably instills in its victims well-grounded fear of physical violence," Thomas said.
Cue the Violins

Jobless rate among lawyers has doubled since the nineties.

In light of this incredibly distressing news, some famous musical performer ought to organize a benefit concert ("Attorney Aid") for long suffering unemployed lawyers.

Hey, stop laughing!

Sunday, April 06, 2003

Actor/Comedian Dennis Miller on Film Director/Big Fat Liar Michael Moore

"He's going to wake up every day for the rest of his life, and he's going to tell us how he hates everything about this country except his right to hate it. And then we say that we love it and he's going to tell us what naive sheep we are and that he's the true patriot because he hates it and he sees all the problems in it. Yeah, right, Mike. You know something, if my yawn got any bigger they'd have to assign it a hurricane name, okay?
"Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong."

For more biting quotes from the not usually conservative Mr. Miller, go here.