Good Thing I Wasn't a Voting Juror

The defendants in the murder trial I was an alternate juror on were found guilty. Although it is possible I could have changed my mind after reviewing all the evidence again, I don't think I would have voted to convict based on everything I can remember hearing and seeing. Bottom line is that I don't believe the prosecutor satisfactorily proved beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendents (who by all other accounts are dirtbags) intentionally, with premeditation and deliberation, aided and abetted a murder. At the cost of appearing pretentious and self-important, I can only speculate what kind of influence I would have had on the other jurors if I was allowed to participate in deliberations.